How many times have people been in relationships and had those moments where they say to themselves “I really wish they were taller” or “I really wish he was more cheerful”!!! So whats the solution? So many people think that they can change or tweak their respective partners, but why. Surely if you have got to the stage where you are living with them, married to them, or maybe serious about the previous two, then you have already seen them for what they are and how they look.
So why do we feel like we should change someone? This is probably a question that will never be truly answered by any of us. Wanting someone to be different in a dramatic way tends to really be about the fact that you may have changed as a person. Why do they need to change? Maybe you have grown as a person, and in fact become bored or complacent about the relationship you are in. So what now? What is the next step?
Do you end your relationship without finding the root cause? Do you go and see a therapist to talk through your concerns and issues? What is the real answer? Well the answer to that is that it is completely different for every individual. Every individual needs to look at their own life, personality, goals and needs and decide if the reason they are criticising their partner is because they need to deal with issues within themselves. Being honest and true to yourself about what is bothering you, is the first step in making a positive informed choice about what you truly need and want from your life.
Knee jerk separations may be common, but looking at the issue and trying to resolve it is not.